I’m very lucky. My attitude has always been sunny side up. While I’m not immune to depression, I’ve spent a greater amount of time avoiding it than being affected by it. So, it’s safe to say that when I do feel down, I struggle. HARD.

And I hate to admit it, but lately, I’ve been down.

When The Struggle Gets Loud

I won’t get into details, because this isn’t about my sob story, but the gist is that things are not going perfectly in a few important areas — one of them being my ongoing disagreement with cancer. Now to be clear, I’m not on the verge of being knocked out of the fight, but let’s just say I took a punch to the face – and it stung. If you’re really interested, I keep my health updates HERE where I’m slightly less vague.

When you’re fighting something like cancer and the data starts moving in an unfavorable direction, it’s very easy to go down a dark rabbit hole. It’s easy to start thinking about worst-case scenarios, and it’s even easier to shut down partially or completely. I’ve experienced all of those, sometimes in the same five minutes.

But again, I’m very lucky. My calling as a success coach (shameless plug HERE) gives me the knowledge that not only is that line of thinking both harmful and unproductive, but I also know a few tricks to help climb out. Here, I’m going to outline the one that I am currently using. Final results are pending, but I already feel lighter, and that’s worth sharing.

The Burn List and the Focus List

I call it the Burn List and the Focus List. Two pieces of paper, two very different purposes.

To set this up, I’m a believer in the whole “you are what you think about” and “speak it into existence” mindset. I’ve written before about positive, negative, and neutral thinking (link), and I know that when all your words and thoughts are negative, positive outcomes are extremely unlikely. Those are important notes in understanding why I did what I did.

After noticing that my focus was drifting to all the wrong places for far too much of my time, I knew I had to do something. I decided I was going to make two lists. One would be all the negative, unproductive trash that was clogging up my mind. I had my concerns about doing that because, to me, acknowledging it only fans the flames and gives it life. But telling myself not to think about those things hadn’t been working for weeks. Something had to give.

Facing the Negatives Head-On

I had a little session where I recalled and wrote down everything that had been bothering me — my fears, my concerns, all of it. Down on paper and right there in front of me. The list ran longer than I expected, but I knew it was important, so I finished it.

Then I started the other list — The Focus List. I asked myself: what is important to move me forward? What are the things I’m not doing but should be, to counteract the other list? I answered questions like, what gives me strength, purpose, or calm when I think about it? Which activities or practices make me feel most alive when I’m doing them? What are the non-negotiables I want to keep at the center of my life?

When I was done, I had a list so full I had to manipulate margins and fonts just to get it all onto one sheet of paper. Then I printed it out and pinned it to my bulletin board with a promise to read it daily.

Burning Away the Negative

I printed the other list as well. I took it outside and read it twice. The first time, I read straight down the line. The second time, I read each item and responded with what I would do instead, and why it made no sense to dwell on those things. Then I crinkled it up into a ball, placed it at the bottom of an empty metal trash can and I burned it.

Focusing on What Matters Most

I hope at this point the purpose is clear: to take all the unproductive and negative thoughts and symbolically eject them from my mind. At the same time, to constantly read and re-read the things I need to focus on so they can occupy that space and leave no room for the other stuff.

Will it work for me? Only time will tell. The important part is, first, recognizing that I had a problem and, second, attempting to do something about it. Will it work for others? Only if they believe it can.

As for me, I’ve read about different versions of this exercise, so I certainly don’t take credit for coming up with it. Like many other things, I see something that looks productive, and I put my own spin on it. What’s important is the hope that it reaches someone who needs it and can help them.

Your Turn: Create Your Lists

The content on my lists is personal, and I’m not inclined to share it. However, a set of questions feels appropriate. So, I’ve included ten starter questions you can ask yourself to create your own Burn List and Focus List. If you’d like a longer list, click here and you’ll find that and a downloadable PDF with these questions and several more.

Finally, if you’re one of those people reading this who is also living this, don’t hesitate to reach out if you need to connect with someone who understands. My purpose is to help people find the strength they already carry, to offer a hand when they need one, and to inspire them to keep going. And I intend to do that for a long time.

The Lists

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