On February 10, 2023, we sat in a room listening to a doctor say words that no one wants to hear:

Cancer

Aggressive

Not sure where it’s coming from

Can’t promise you’ll be here in a year.

He said much more than that, but that’s all I remember.

What started as excessively high blood pressure at the end of October 2022 (180/110 range) had led us here.  Those blood pressure readings led to visits to our primary care physician, which led to blood tests, which showed my kidney function was off. That led to a nephrologist and a kidney ultrasound.  The subsequent follow up led to some concerns that triggered a CT scan in late January which showed a mass in my bladder.  That led to a surgery on February 1 and getting the pathology diagnosis ten days later.

The next few days were truly a whirlwind of emotions.  Fear, anxiety, and uncertainty were certainly present.  I don’t remember feeling any denial – I hadn’t felt right in a few months – but I am blessed with naivety, which allowed me to move forward.  I would, and still do get emotional at times.  But it’s not sadness or depression.  It’s when I think about how this affects my wife.  She is going through this just as much as me.  I worry more about what losing the fight would do to her.  Same with my dad, my stepdaughter, and my sister. 

The other thing that gets me emotional (and this is the opposite of sadness) is when I think back at the experiences I’ve had, the things that I have learned and the people I have met and how it is all going to come together to help me win.  Other than that cancer diagnosis, I’m pretty damn lucky.

Cancer is a fight.  It’s in your body trying to kill you.  If you take no action and don’t fight back, you’re gone.  But it’s not a fight you take on willingly and it’s not a fight that you train for.  But if you could train for it, what would that look like?  This is where my luck is off the charts.

You Would Build A Support System

I am truly blessed here.  Starting with the family I was born into to the one I married into to the one with no blood ties.  There is no shortage of support.  I may elaborate in the future, but for now let’s just say my wife meant what she said at the part about “sickness and in health” and “good times and bad.”  Few that know us truly understand our relationship.  But I’m lucky to have her. 

You’d Probably Want To Be In (Or Very Near) A Big City

Preferably one with great medical facilities and cancer treatment centers.  I’ve lived in or near Houston, Texas since 1999.  While I’m not a patient at MD Anderson at this time, there is a lot of comfort knowing that the best cancer center in the world is within a 45 minute drive.

You’d Probably Want To Have The Right Mindset

Ironically (or not), for the past two years, most of my reading has been on mindset, visualization, manifestation, positivity and so on.  My professional career is gravitating toward being a life coach with a focus on small business ownership and leadership.  I find myself in the situation now of “practice what you preach” on a whole new level.

It Would Be Good To Have Experience Beating The Odds

This is where I drop back to my high school wrestling days.  As a freshman, my mom made me quit because of cauliflower ear.  As a sophomore, I made varsity and sat with my mom watching a teammate win the Western Massachusetts sectional tournament in Pittsfield, MA and told her that would be me next year.  Long story short, I worked my ass off and did it.  I learned that hard work and discipline will get you where you want to go.  I also learned (by my senior year) that if you slacked off the tiniest bit, that you could lose everything you worked for.  I had no idea how valuable that training was at the time.

You’d Probably Want To Have A Job Where You Make Your Own Schedule Or Be Self Employed

And that’s been me since that pandemic a few years ago.  While it hasn’t always been great, I’ve been able to do well enough with coaching, consulting and marketing services to not have to go get a “regular job.”  I cannot imagine the added stress I would be under right now if I had to justify my salary from my 50+ hour per week job that I had prior to COVID-19.

You’d Need Excellent Health Insurance

Here is where my wife is the champion AGAIN.  Post COVID, she did something she did not want to do.  She got an office job.  At times it can be stressful and very taxing on her.  But it comes with good health insurance.  It’s come in handy for me more than a few times, but this is the level where there is a lot of peace of mind.  We’ve still had to come out of pocket more than we’d like, and not everything is covered, but for the most part, we’re lucky to have what we have.

You’d Want To Improve Your Physical Fitness

This is one I had been working on for a while.  I was exercising regularly on my own since May of 2021, had a setback in January of 2022 with a broken ankle, but got back to it when I could.  I got a gym membership in September of 2022 and was going 4 times per week until early January when the blood pressure was just too much.  But I had made strides at getting stronger.

You Should Adopt A Diet That Is Uncomfortable For Cancer

This might be the best one.  After my late October blood pressure scare, I knew I had to get healthier.  My weight was hovering around 205 pounds ( a bit too much for a 5’4” frame).  I came across a video on Facebook that talked about ketones and how they could help you lose weight.  I was not interested in a ketogenic diet at the time, but it talked about intermittent fasting as a way of achieving ketosis as well.  So I tried that.  I started with a twelve-hour fasting window.  Within a few weeks I was up to sixteen with the occasional eighteen to twenty-two.  By the time of my diagnosis I had dropped about twenty pounds.  Now I cannot be sure, but I’d like to believe that that diet decision slowed the cancer down before I knew it was there.  The oncologist said she was pleasantly surprised at my PET scan results. She referred to it as “dimly lit up” as opposed to the “Christmas Tree” reference that you don’t want to hear.

Regarding the diet, it gets weirder.  There has been a lot of research about cancer as a metabolic disease.  I’m not going to pretend to know exactly what that means, but my understanding is that there are certain ways to slow it down without conventional treatments.  One is depriving it of extra sugar and carbohydrates.  So yes, I’ve gravitated to ketogenic with this knowledge.  One of the leading researchers on this matter is Professor Thomas Seyfried from Boston College.  It just so happens that I befriended his son back in 1995. We’ve been in touch and I’ve received a lot of information from Professor Seyfried that I am still going through.

As of now, we’re not 100% sure of what type of cancer it is.  It’s presenting as and being treated as colon cancer.  We should have more info on that soon.  I haven’t been given a stage, and honestly I don’t care.  Labels like that don’t, can’t change my mindset.  Chemotherapy has started and my care team is open to me fighting from every additional angle possible.  So again, I’m lucky to not have a closed minded doctor that thinks there is only one way to fight.

To quote the book The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho- “And when you want something, all the universe conspires to help you achieve it.” I want to live, and the universe has been preparing me for this since the day I was born.

Thank you for reading. If there is something you’ve read that you’ d like to know more about, let me know here.